Michael shook his head and put a hand over his face. How could he do it? How could he tell her? He dropped his hand, and looked at her. He reached out taking her face gently in his hands, and he stared into her eyes, as if he would be able to tell her without ever opening his mouth. But he knew that even though he had promised he would never let it pass his lips, without these words, she would never understand.
“I love you, Allison Woods,” he said, his voice breaking in the middle. He moved his hands to brush her hair away from her face. He shook his head, and dropped his eyes. “You have been everything to me, everything that means anything. You’re my life, my soul…without you…” Michael paused and didn’t continue for a long moment. He didn’t know how to put his feelings into words that would be big enough to express how he really felt. Michael leaned forward, gently pressing his lips to her closed eyes, and then, softly, to each of her cheeks. Slowly, he pressed his lips to her forehead, and then gently to her lips.
“You are…everything to me, Allison,” he murmured, his eyes closed as he rested his forehead against hers. “You are my greatest love.”
“I love you, Allison Woods. You have been everything to me, everything that means anything. You’re my life, my soul…without you… You are…everything to me, Allison. You are my greatest love.”
Allison froze, listening to Michael’s sweet words with absolute disbelief. He gently held her face between his hands; his mouth whispering beautiful things against her skin that made Ally want to throw her arms around him and drag him into a kiss to show how much his words meant. She shook lightly, her own hands moving to cover his over her face.
It couldn’t be. He - he couldn’t mean it. Happiness wasn’t meant for Allison. She was cursed to spend a lifetime pinning after a man who made her feel like she never had before. He would eventually leave her, just life everyone did, and she would be left alone once again. It was the pattern of events in her life. It was just how it worked.
Yet, if his words were true… He loved her. And the way he was looking at her - he - he was looking at her the way she had only dreamed of.
“God,” she started breathlessly, her eyes completely violet with the full force of her affection for him. She leaned forward and pressed a brief kiss to his lips, pulling back after a moment with a soft smile. “I love you so much. Seeing you and not being able to hold you and kiss you like this? It’s killed me,” she whispered against his lips, leaning back in for another, this time lingering a bit longer.
“You make me feel whole again, Michael. I didn’t think I would ever care for another person after my father…” She leaned back and laughed quietly. “But you proved me wrong. From that first day, I knew you were something special. And I knew I was completely and irrevocably yours.”
(Source: allisonwoods)
Michael felt his anger growing. He didn’t know why, but her words pissed him off. Of course he trusted her! But he didn’t think she would want to know all about his sexual escapades, if he even had them. After all, she was a woman, he wouldn’t want to tell her about that sort of thing. Not that he wouldn’t have if she had asked, but he felt like being respectful of her meant keeping some things to himself.
“I do trust you, Allison,” he said, feeling his face get warm with the act of getting angry. “But…I guess…” he didn’t finish his statement because he wasn’t sure what he was going to say. He didn’t want her to know about that sort of thing. He didn’t want to tell her because…because he loved her. Something about telling her about his sex life was just…wrong. He guessed if she had asked him, he would have told her, but he just couldn’t imagine having that conversation with her.
Michael slowly scooted off of the bed, and walked across the trailer. He turned, looking back at Allison, his brow furrowed.
“You know what, Allison, maybe I should just go, if this is the way you’re going to be.”
Allison watched him move off the bed, stand up and walk towards the trailer door. Her heart sunk at the haunted look in his eye and the barely concealed anger. This wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t want to fight or push him away, she just wanted him to see her. To see how much she cared for him, needed him, and loved him.
She gazed down at her hands, a few stray curls falling in front of her face. ”No - no, I’m sorry… Please, come back to bed.” She sniffled dramatically, playing up his caring side. She lifted her eyes to meet his, sending him the most convincing smile she could manage, hoping her red nose and dark eyes would push him towards taking care of her.
How pathetic was she? Using her illness to get him to stay? It was downright disgusting.
(Source: allisonwoods)
Michael heard the sharpness in Allison’s voice and he looked at the back of her head in a puzzled way as if she had said something that had stung the roof of his mouth. He didn’t say anything for a long moment. What did she mean? They’d only been together a month! How could he know absolutely everything there was to know about her.
Mike’s brain was still reeling from his realization of his affections for Allison, and now, for some reason she was jumping on him over his girlfriend. It was clear to him that Alley really didn’t care about Michael in that way. She was just concerned about he and Christa, about how they were doing. She wanted them to be together, and Mike knew that, if that was what made Allison happy, then he would do it. For her, not for him, not for Christa. For Allison, because she was, in the end, the sun that rose and set in his world. When she smiled, his heart smiled too. When she was sad, he felt miserable. Everything in his life had been connected somehow to her since the day he had met her.
And if he had to be miserable to make her happy, he would.
“What do you mean?” he asked, leaning away from her, and sitting up on his elbow. “We haven’t even had sex,” he said incredulously. His brow furrowed. “Not that it would be any of your business if we had.” His final words came out before he thought about how rude they sounded.
Allison groaned as he pulled back. She recognized the beginnings of a fight by the way his brow would furry and his eyes would darken. She always fucked up somehow, always managed to push him away. They would take one step forward only to take three steps back thanks to some idiotic comment she’d would make.
His next words made her recoil, her eyes narrowing. Any relief over hearing they hadn’t had sex was washed away with her anger. She pulled the blanket to her chin and glared up at him. ”None of my business?” She repeated, hating how shrill her voice sounded. Ally worked to keep her tone level, hoping she could keep calm. “How the hell is that not my business? We’re best friends. I’d tell you if I ever - ever did that, but we both know that’s never happening for me.”
She then sat up, her dark hair falling over her shoulders in wild waves. “I get that we’ve been on the rocks for a while, but I thought you trusted me enough to at least tell me that kind of stuff.” Allison crossed her arms over her chest with another harsh glare. The heat of the glare was ruined by the coughs that followed, but she refused to back down.
(Source: allisonwoods)
Michael listened to her as she spoke. Something about her voice made him feel weary. Like there were a million things they needed to say to one another, but there was just no way to say it. And something about what they needed to say was so personal, they couldn’t just read each other’s minds as they usually did. Mike felt lost. He felt like he needed somehow to connect with Allison, but all he could think to do was just hold her closer and fix his eyes on the ceiling.
“Maybe I’ll get her some,” he said absentmindedly. Then he furrowed his brow. “You know, we’ve almost been together a month, and I still don’t know what kind of flowers she likes…” he paused. “I guess I never asked…” he didn’t know why he felt the need to tell her, but he realized that, even though he and Christa liked each other, they barely knew each other. He hadn’t told her things, things about his past, about who he was. Hell, she didn’t even know about his power of invisibility. She knew his favorite color was green, and that he loved rock ‘n roll music. He had found that he just didn’t tell her things, not because he didn’t want to, but mostly because, she never asked. She listened to him when he talked, absorbed what he told her, but she never asked what he thought, and why he thought it. She never challenged his beliefs, showed him the other side of things.
She never did the things Allison did.
It hit Michael then. Like a ball of lead into his stomach, he realized that, without question, without concern, and unequivocally, he was in love with Allison. He guessed he had always known it, but in that instant, it was more obvious to him that, because no one seemed to live up to who she was, he knew that she was the only person he could ever truly love in his heart, and in his soul. There was no other person alive who could understand him quite like her.
As he lay behind her, he wondered how, after all this time, he had never realized it. But in that moment, he slowly folded those feelings away, into the darkest part of his heart. There would never be a day when he could tell Allison; she would never understand, never return his feelings.
Allison felt him pull her a bit closer, a grin spreading across her face. She definitely did not mind. Sure, she would regret it later when he left to go spend time with his real girlfriend, but it was easy to pretend that their embrace was something real for now. It was worth the pain.
Michael’s warm chest pressing against her brought up the memory of their drunken kisses. She could still remember the intense craving, how she had wanted more and more of him, how his hands skimmed her body like she was something so precious to him. Being wanted had felt good - great even. Too bad it hadn’t been real. It meant nothing, it was a fluke. Just like their first kiss. How could something that meant so much to her be absolutely nothing in his eyes?
His next words were spoken so softly that she almost didn’t hear them. For some unknown reason, it made her angry. Fire burned in her veins as she shifted to face him. “Why haven’t you asked? You’re together aren’t you? You get to know each other, you kiss, you have sex. That’s how it works.”
Allison knew her voice was too sharp, too obvious. How couldn’t he know? The jealousy was clear in her bitter tone and the anger was sparkling in her dark red eyes. Why couldn’t he see it?
(Source: allisonwoods)
Michael felt her hand knot in his shirt, and he felt somehow like she needed him. He didn’t know why, but for some reason, they needed each other. They had been drawn to each other, they had been best friends. Their hearts spoke to each other in a way he’d never known before. The feeling of her next to him, the feeling that she needed him, made him realize, now more than ever, it wasn’t Allison that needed him. He needed her. More than anything in this world, Mike needed Allison. He needed her smile, he needed her warmth, he needed her words, he just…he needed her.
“She’s alright,” he said noncommittally. “We’ve been fighting a lot the past little bit…” he offered, not sure what else too say about his relationship with Christa. It had gone from uncomplicated, to very fucking complicated in one swift move that had made his life very confusing. His brain couldn’t make sense of what was going on with him. Michael held Allison closer in reaction to his own thoughts, her body molded against his; her hips and back fit against his pelvis and chest as if they had been made to fit that way, and Michael couldn’t help but just hold her tight against him, as if something might tear her away.
“We both made a mistake,” he said honestly. “No more drinking together.”
Allison was torn between offering him a few comforting words and doing a victory dance at the idea of them fighting. She didn’t want them to be arguing, but a sick part of her loved the idea. As long as they were on the rocks he would stick around, she figured. And the only times she felt happy these days was when Michael was around.
She felt safe and loved - something she hadn’t felt since before her father died. Those first few weeks after her father’s death had been the loneliest and scariest times of her life. Ally had begged for the end to all her suffering, but her pleadings had been denied.
After meeting Mike and having him in her life, Allison knew deep down that she had survived because she was supposed to meet him. She had saved him as much as he had saved her - and that was something truly amazing. That two broken, lost people had been able to find each other in a place full of lies and hurt.
Even if he wasn’t in love with her, Ally knew that he did love her.
“A mistake,” she repeatedly softly, her eyes moving back to the wall. “Of course.” She snuggled back into his warmth and tried to forget that he didn’t love her, that he was probably thinking of ways to get Christa back. Imagining him so unhappy made her want to cry. “Sunflowers,” she blurted out, her eyes shutting as if she were in pain. It was too late to back out now. “I bet she would love it if you brought her sunflowers.”
(Source: allisonwoods)
Michael was satisfied by the amount she ate. He understood it was hard to eat with a fever, and when one’s nose was totally stuffy. So he smiled when she sat it down, and he nodded as she lay down and got comfortable under her blankets. When she offered him to lay down, he nodded without even considering. He grabbed her blanket, kicking off his shoes, and sliding underneath. He lay the blanket over him, and scooted forward, slipping his arm around her slender waist, and curling himself around her.
Mike felt like he was coming home. Their bodies fit together perfectly, as they always had. She was hot, her body radiating heat, but she shivered, and Michael held her close to his chest, as if he was going to reassure her that, no matter what had happened to make them drift apart, that she would never be far from his thoughts. Mike buried his nose in her mass of thick dark hair, and for a brief moment just savored the smell of her hair. He’d always loved the way she smelled; her shampoo, mixed with her perfume was fruity scent that he had come to associate with her.
“I’m sorry we haven’t seen each other,” he said finally. “I’ve missed you.”
Ally curled closer to him instinctively, her shivers lessening with the heat of his body pressed against hers. Nothing felt better than being in his arms. His steady breathing was comforting and suddenly all the tension and uncomfortable feelings that had been bubbling up inside her floated away. But he had always had that effect on her. Michael had calmed her tears many times and was always willing to comfort her after nightmares.
He was her protector, her savior, and best friend wrapped all into one handsome package.
“I’ve missed you too. I get why you haven’t been around though. I fucked up,” she mumbled, her eyes tracing the ceiling of her trailer. “How - how’s Christa?” She asked; voice quiet and reserved. She hadn’t wanted to bring up his girlfriend because she knew it could mean him pulling way. Without realizing it, her hand had knotted in his shirt as though trying to keep him from moving away from her. She considered letting go, but instead held on tighter.
She would enjoy these few moments of happiness before she got better and he vanished from her life once again.
(Source: allisonwoods)
Michael walked resolutely to her stove and opened up her cabinets, searching around for anything interesting. He found condensed soup, which he pulled down, along with a pot to heat it. He turned to her fridge, grabbing out the half-used carton of milk. He glanced at it, making sure it was still good before he turned on the oven, and poured the tomato soup in, along with the milk, and he began to stir it slowly so that it mixed up.
As he stirred, he looked over at her, and narrowed his eyes.
“You’re going to have at least a few bites of this if I have to feed it to you myself,” he insisted, nodding. Michael turned back to the soup and continued stirring. He pushed the tea kettle onto the stove behind the soup and he turned on the burner. Mike stood on his tip toes to grab the cinnamon, and honey, as well as a mug, and sitting them down on the counter. He squeezed out the honey, and tapped a little cinnamon in the bottom before he dropped the tea leaves inside and sat the mug aside.
The soup began to bubble, and he stirred it slowly, before pulling it off and setting it aside. He fished down at bowel, and poured some of the soup in. He flavored it with a little seasoning and he put a spoon in, pouring tea into the mug. He turned off the stove, and walked over to Allison’s bed, sitting down next to her, and sitting the warm bowel in her lap.
“Now,” he said. “Eat. I’ll hold your tea while you eat, and when you’re done, you have to get under the blankets. I’ll put a movie on for you or something, and I will stay here with you. There is nothing you can do to stop me so don’t even try.”
Allison watched him work, a slight grin spreading across her face. It had been so long since she had seen him at his familiar place in her kitchen, making her favorite tea in that same mug he always used. She hadn’t even been that big of a fan of tea before him - but he had somehow used his English tea-loving prowess to make her love the stuff.
“I’m not a child,” she mumbled, sounding very much like a stubborn little girl, her lip jutting out in a pout as she stared down at the soup. Secretly, she was pleased that he was even there trying to take care of her. She owed him at least a few bites because he had made an effort. Sighing, she picked up the spoon and took a sip of the soup. It was delicious, of course, and she had eaten nearly half of it before she placed it on the bedside table, nose wrinkling.
“I - I don’t think I can eat anymore. I’m sorry,” she replied, feeling suddenly strange after having him so close. Thankfully, her body gave a shudder as the cold hit her bare arms and she took a moment to crawl under the covers, gazing up at him from beneath the pile once she had gotten comfortable. “You can lay down too if you don’t mind maybe getting sick?”
(Source: allisonwoods)
Michael hadn’t seen Allison for three weeks. Three long, boring, miserable weeks. Not that they had been utterly awful; he had seen Christa almost every day since he had told her about what had happened with Allison. After he told her, the two of them did really well. They talked, hung out, drank together, kissed, and had even fooled around a few times. They’d always come up short before sex, but he had thought their relationship was moving in the right direction.
However, over the last week or so, things had been getting rocky. They hadn’t seen much of each other, and Christa seemed more interested in whether Mike had hung out with Allison alone. She wasn’t being particularly possessive, but she was very interested in the topic, to which he could always respond that he hadn’t seen her. It was the truth. He and Alley were like strangers now. His friends asked him why they hadn’t been hanging out, and he found out how she was through their coworkers. But he had only lay eyes on her when she performed. He hid out by the curtain, watched her perform every night, and wished that he didn’t have to see her from afar.
That morning, though, Mike had heard that she had come down with the flu. Someone had told him that she was really suffering through her routine, and that Matthew had not taken kindly to it. Mike had determined then that he would go see her as soon as he finished all of his work for the morning.
So as he made his way to her trailer, he pretended like it was any other day, that he was just going to see his friend. When he reached her door, he heard the sound of her bed creaking, and of her coughing. He knocked lightly, to make her aware that he was coming in, but he didn’t wait for her to invite him. He pushed open the door, and peered inside.
“Allison,” he said, his voice stern. “I heard you were sick, and not eating.” He came into the trailer, and closed the door behind him. “Either you let me make you food, and take care of you, or I’ll take your favorite bear away.”
Michael motioned to the teddy she was cuddling, knowing that she loved it more than anything else. He also smiled warmly to try and let her know he was there to make nice with her.
At the sight of Michael, her golden eyes widened with her surprise. Ally had thought that he would basically forget that she had ever been apart of his life. The man who had been plaguing her thoughts and taking over her every dream was here in the flesh - her very own knight in shinning armor. Well, not her knight. He was reserved for a certain ginger with green eyes and a playful smile, but she would take whatever she could get.
“You wouldn’t dare touch Mr. Bear. I’d get up out of this bed and I’d - ” Her threat was cut off by a coughing fit, her eyes shutting against the pain. “Damn. That wasn’t very impressive, what with my little fit right in the middle of it.” She gave a dry chuckle and sat up to face him. Her hair was tangled and messy, her face sickly pale, and dark hollows lie underneath her eyes. All in all, she was sure she was quite the sight.
She tilted her head and simply stared at him for a moment, her gaze taking in his handsome face and familiar smile. “I’m not hungry,” she finally replied, taking her bear and holding him tightly to her chest as her chin rested on the top of his fuzzy hear, her eyes peering up at him.
(Source: allisonwoods)
Allison’s slight frame shook underneath her piles of blankets, her skin feeling both too hot and too cold. Being sick was literally the last thing she needed right now, but it seemed that God wanted to have a good laugh at her expense. First her best friend had avoided her for another fan-fucking-tastic three weeks, and then she had come down with some sort of cold. Her eating habits had steadily decreased and sleep was a rare event these days.
She had spent the last few days either preforming in her shows or laying in bed trying to feel better. The daily use of her already drained energy wasn’t the greatest thing for her health, but Matthew got what Matthew wanted - and Matthew wanted her performing no matter what. So she suffered through the shaking, coughing, and sore throat because it was what was required of her.
Curling around the small teddy bear Michael had given her ages ago, Ally coughed again. This was hell. Being alone and being sick - was there anything worse? Well, she was sure there was, but she couldn’t think of them right now. She considered changing out of her tiny shorts and thin tank top into something warmer, but she worried it would make her too hot.
With a dramatic sigh, Ally clutched tighter at her bear and prayed to feel better soon.
